The Weight of Motherhood, Continued

By Karen Isbell

My first post veered a little off the intended path, but spontaneous exploration is good for the soul.

I remember the moment Bryan told me we had a little girl, a little Ellie.

I was speechless.

My heart wanted a girl and all that pink, yet, I wouldn’t let my heart dream until it was real.

I had used the male pronouns mostly during the pregnancy, so I had to adjust to using the female ones.

I was elated

Then the cart started the steep incline up on the journey of raising a daughter. The roller coaster ride had begun.

I want to stuff all my flaws in a box and store it in the attic until she is grown.

Everything I don’t want to pass on to her is glaring at me like a pimple on prom night.

Yet, I know I can’t hide my imperfections, they will be a part of our story, together.

My flesh will shape her and become a part of her story, how and in what way I don’t know.

But what I do know, is that there is enough grace for my imperfections.

Her flesh will shape me and become a part of my story.

It would be easier to hide it and be the “perfect” mom, but that wouldn’t point her to Jesus.

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